Deep Ocean
by ForGranted
Summary: Haruhi Yukimura was a happy child, but once she reached age 17, she just changed. Especially after the accident, she seems to have lost herself in worry and fear. Now she is trying her best to get better, no matter how hard it should be. Maybe meeting the people from the small town Iwatobi might just be what she needs.


Her dark brown hair was still damp from her shower, one strand neatly tucked behind her ear and the rest falling over her shoulders, chaotically. People often described her brown eyes as muddy puddles or chocolate and she never could understand the connection between the two, just that she agreed with them.

Her large glasses rested on the bridge of her nose and her eyes focused on the small words on her computer screen, scooting towards the time mark from time to time and a sigh escaping her moderately plump lips every time they did.

What was the point of sleep anyway? Who cared if she went to bed at 10pm or 5am.

Soon her alarm started to vibrate and a loud, annoying beeping sound signalized the time she had to wake up. As Haruhi stood up, she slipped her headphones off and shut down her computer before wandering to the kitchen and gulping down two glasses of water and a pill.

The bitter taste of the pill spread through her mouth and she felt like she had swallowed a rock whole as it was sliding down her throat.

She almost winced when she looked at the mirror. Just the thought of existing and being strange left a unexplainatory pain in her stomach.

She wanted to be left alone and be invisible, but that would only be possible if she fit into the group.

Her backpack kept slamming against her back as she ran towards her school. She was going to transfer to Iwatobi and would have to pick up her old books. She didn't care if people were staring at her. Usually she would shy away, but today was a good day and she wanted to feel comfortable, so she decided to wear a dress instead of her uniform.

No matter how long or short, or what colour the dress was, as long as they were cute, she was happy. On this day she wore a white dress that reached the top of her knee. A thick red ribbon tied around her waist and another one tied around her hair. It was simple and made her feel like a little girl.  
>Cute clothing had an effect on Haruhi that she couldn't explain, but she loved it. She adored the frills and the lace and the free feeling and how she could run without any fabric pressing around her legs. Haruhi felt free.<p>

It only took a few minutes and she was far away from the old gates with a filled backpack and a smile she just couldn't help.

* * *

><p>One train ride later and was already moving towards a new enviroment.<p>

Standing in front of her new school never felt as nerve wrecking as it did in that moment. No matter how many times she changed something in her life, she never felt any better.

Crowds of people flowed past her, towards this large building where they would one day graduate and proceed to work with other people. It all felt so pointless.

"That's such a cute dress!" a girl with short black hair exclaimed as she spotted Haruhi, pulling her out of her thoughts "But I don't think we're allowed to wear that, we have a school uniform." she added hesitantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I will wear my uniform from tomorrow, I'm afraid I forgot to pick it up." Haruhi tried to smile

"I'm new by the way. My name is Yukimura Haruhi." she held out her hand.

"My name is Tanaka Kotomi."

"I absolutely adore your uniform! It looks so cute on you, Tanaka-chan!"

Kotomi blushed and looked away shyly "Thank you, Yuki-chan."  
>Haruhi smiled, it was nice to have a nickname. Friends called each other nicknames and maybe they had a chance of becoming friends.<p>

"Do you know in what class you are?" Kotomi asked

"I'm afraid not yet."

Haruhi knew Kotomi wanted to ask something, but was trying to hold it back.

"Don't worry, I know you want to ask something so go ahead." her eyes lit up

"Oh, it's just I was wondering why you would transfer in the middle of the year." Haruhi's smile vanished when she heard the last syllable leave Kotomi's mouth, "I'm sorry, do you not want to answer that question or-"

"No, no! It's fine," she forced on her best smile "My parents got a promotion and decided to move here, so I had to transfer."

That was a lie. She was a stupid liar and it hurt knowing that.

"I'm sure you miss your friends, but I can show you around if you want."

"That would be so nice! We can be friends, right?"

"Of course, Haruhi-chan!"

She walked behind Kotomi who seemed rather popular. People greeted her and smiled at her and she would occasionally stop to talk to them, before continuing towards the administration.

The door ahead looked large, but maybe it was just because she was afraid of the people behind the door.

"Go ahead, knock on the door. I'm sure they won't be angry that you aren't wearing your uniform."

Before Haruhi could knock, a young woman opened the door and almost dropped all her folders.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." Haruhi felt absolutely terrible as she bowed in front of the woman. After what felt like an eternity the lady laughed and put her hand on Haruhi's shoulder, but retracted it when the student flinched.

"Don't worry, no harm done. Is there something you need?"

The young woman was so kind and beautiful, it made her heart feel lighter. "I am looking for my teacher Miho Amakata. I just transferred here today."

"You're a student?" the teacher observed Haruhi "I'm sorry, I couldn't tell because you aren't wearing a uniform."

"She forgot to pick it up, Miss, please don't be mad!"

She giggled and shook her head "I'm not mad, don't worry. It looks like you just caught me then. You must be Haruhi Yukimura. A pleasure to meet you."

After a quick introduction, she followed her teacher to the class. The students were awaiting the teacher and stared at Haruhi as she walked in. She felt ill just standing in front of the class.

"Good morning everyone, this is Yukimura Haruhi. How about you introduce yourself to the class?"

She felt her heart pound as some eyes looked up, while others were impatient or annoyed.

"M-my name is Yukimura Haruhi and I am 17 years old. I just moved here, so I'm afraid I don't know a lot about Iwatobi."

"Does anyone want to ask Haruhi a question?", Miss Amakata asked when she realised Haruhi's silence.

Nobody was raising their hand or even seemed interested in the slightest. Haruhi felt the heat rise to her face. She hated standing in front of everyone. Especially strangers.

"Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

"I just forgot to pick it up. From tomorrow on I'll be wearing the uniform." she smiled at them, but most stopped listening after they had heard her name.

"Well then, Haruhi, thank you for introducing yourself," Miss Amakata looked around for a moment "How about you take a seat next to Tachibana Makoto, Haruhi? He's currently the best in my class and I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you out."

Haruhi looked around the class until her eyes landed on an olive haired boy. He looked tall and had wide, muscular shoulders, intimidating the girl.

Miss Amakata started calling for attendance as she walked over to her seat.

She stiffly sat down and greeted him, before focusing on taking out her school books.

"Welcome to Iwatobi, I'm sure you'll love it here-" she flinched in shock and the class stared at her as she almost fell out of her chair.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she cried out, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

After a few seconds, the lesson continued, some people gave her a couple of glances, but not for long.

Makoto didn't try to talk to her anymore and she was glad. She was scared and embarrassed and she couldn't focus anymore. Haruhi managed to not be invisible. She stood out like a cottage in the city and she hated it.

"That was it for today. Please finish reading the chapter and complete the exercises listed beneath it." Haruhi packed her things as slow as possible, waiting for everyone to leave, as well as Kotomi.

"Haruhi, could you please come to me," she stared at her teacher before walking to the front desk, "I noticed that you don't seem very focused. The school administration has mentioned that you were in an accident, but they didn't specify." Haruhi felt the tears swell up, "If there is anything you need, please feel free to come to me."

She wasn't listening anymore. She was focusing on the familiar movement of her lips. The familiar words that so many had repeated before her.

"Thank you, Miss, I'm just tired from the trip. I moved in yesterday and it was a hassle, but I'll be trying my best as soon as possible. Have a nice day, Miss Amakata.", she smiled at her teacher with the best smile she could bring up and left the room.

* * *

><p>Haruhi avoided Kotomi for the rest of the day. Although she was glad she had made a friend, or was close to making one, she didn't want to embarrass Kotomi any further. She stopped searching for the school's exit when she saw Makoto again. He was next to a black-haired boy, the same boy he was sitting next to in class.<p>

She tried walking passed them, but the black-haired boy stepped in front of her. She felt her heart stop and her knees grow weak as she peered up at him.

"Join the swim club.", she looked at his hand and saw a small wooden figurine.

"I'm sorry- Yukimura-chan?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not a very good swimmer. I enjoy it but I'd only be a burden to your team." she tried to back away and leave.

"Not at all, please at least accept our mascot." Makoto inquired getting closer. He was so much taller than she had remembered in class.

She slowly took the bird out of the black-haired boy's hand "It's cute, does it have a name?"

"Iwatobi-chan." she smiled at it and he grunted, satisfied.

"I'm sorry Haru-chan stormed at you out of nowhere." Makoto seemed a lot sweeter and calmer now that she was actually talking to him.

"It's alright, I wasn't planning on joining a club, but I'll take a look, if you don't mind."

"You will?" Makoto sounded amazed "Thank you Yukimura-chan! We need more members so it's perfect if you would join us. You don't have to be fast, it's about having fun after all."

She felt overwhelmed when another two people ran over to them.

"What happened Mako-chan?"

"Yukimura-chan is considering joining the club."

"She is!" the blond boy grabbed her hand tightly. She froze and stumbled back, ripping her hand out of his, barely stopping a scream.

"I'm sorry, I really need to get home. Thank you for the offer, I will consider it!" she called out.

"Is something wrong-"

Haruhi never let him finish that sentence. She just did what she did best. Run away from her fears.

Once she was at a safe distance she slid down the wall, looked at her hand and let out a long sigh. She would need to get over her fear. Not everyone was out to hurt her, but she couldn't help it. She felt vulnerable like a little pot covered in cracks and every touch could make her crumble.

"Yukimura-san, is something wrong?" her head shot up

"I just felt ill for a moment, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Nagisa-chan can be a little too enthusiastic at times and it is overwhelming for others." he squatted down and took a look at her "Should I bring you to the nurse? You look really pale."

She shook her head a little and looked up at him "May I ask something personal?," he nodded

"Why is it that you all have female names?"

"I guess our parents liked these names, I'm afraid I never really asked myself that. May I ask you something too Yukimura-chan?" he looked at the ground hesitantly when she nodded.

She waited and watched him bite his lower lip before finally speaking.

"Why did you get a shock when I spoke to you earlier?" his sad eyes glanced at the ground for a moment, before locking with hers. "I noticed you tried to avoid me in the hall. Did I do something wrong?"

Haruhi felt her heart sink. She hurt him, she could hear it in his voice.

"You don't have to answer it of course, I was just wondering." a small smile appeared on his lips. She couldn't help but stare at them.

He started to stand up, not expecting an answer.

"I was scared of you." she finally whispered.

His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock "Scared of me? Is it because of my size or a vibe - I'm so sorry, Yukimaru-chan! I should have been more considerate-"

"N-no, Tachibana-san! It's not you, really. You didn't do anything wrong, I swear. I'm just-"

Wrong. Strange.

"-scared of fast movements and loud noises sometimes. It's probably from the little sleep." she smiled and hoped he would believe her.

"I see." Makoto smiled again and chuckled, though it seemed like a genuine smile this time "I'm glad I didn't do something wrong to scare you. I'll be more careful in future though." he was so calm, something she had missed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you, Tachibana-kun." she looked at the ground

"Don't worry, how about we head to the swim club for now so that you can decide if you want to join?", he placed his hand on her shoulder.

She wanted to pull away again, but resisted the urge so she wouldn't upset him more and clutched her hands together instead

"That would be great."


End file.
